February 2012
43 posts
My mom is being so mean to me she wants me to watch a Dennis Quaid movie with her even though I said I LOVE RANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My ideal death involves me laying on a couch watching MTV with McDonald’s wrappers strewn sporadically about my body
I’m so distraught I just walked in on someone PEEING
I’M DRUNK I’M NAKED I’M IN BAD DECISION CITY RIGHT NOW
The other day I saw a girl from my high school she was jogging and I was standing in her way eating a donut
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Yesterday I was riding a bus when it braked suddenly to avoid hitting a rogue vehicle. So sudden was the stop that each denizen in motor looked up, startled. One, a man next to me, did not glance frontward like everyone else; he looked at me, and I looked back. Present in his expression was fright, and an instantaneous glimmer of excited hope. This jarring event tore a momentary rift in the...
I just spent a half hour picking out a weed-related background for my fake miley cyrus twitter account
I am playing a really fun game on my cell phone maybe life is worth living
Dentist: “So what have you been up to lately?”
You: “Absolutely nothing. I’m a raging alcoholic”
i added someone’s pet rat on facebook awhile ago now i’m scared he has declined me
I’m hiding in a pantry I want macaroni PLEASE HELP ME
i started too many words with friends games at once i’m so stressed out
One time on a golf course my sister had a nose bleed it got everywhere so my dad poured pepsi on a golf towel and wiped her face with it
I thought there was a bug on my hand but it was a traveling piece of popcorn
A young girl yelled at me today also she did a sketch of a man shooting Santa Claus in the head
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I’m trying to meet people with similar interests I just followed someone on Twitter called @iRIDElebronFACE
i really hope we can become friends
It’s sunny outside I can’t decide if I should go enjoy the weather or lay in my bed alone for the next five hours eating this entire three-pound jar of apple sauce and then passing out
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my recent experience with some mechanical pencils i bought was so terrible that i cannot even look at one now
i have previously been criticized for listening to the same four blink-182 songs on repeat forever
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